"Oh, hi Mike. If we haven't called you back yet that means at this time we have decided to go in a different direction." -assistant manager, secretary, or even host (i'm applying for restaurant gigs right now).
This reminds me of a similar response I would hear several years ago, "oh! Hi mike, I really like you, buuuut i just want to be friends." -cute 15 year old girl who sits front row in Algebra.
But the 15 year girl is not a grown up. A 35 year old man needs to learn how to talk to people and not be such a female anatomy word. While trying to sound professional and non-rejection-like you come off arrogant and unempathitic. Be a man and say, "Dude, I'm sorry. We didn't pick you. Deal with it. or try again later." I can connect with that.
"Mike, thanks for having the stones to ask me out. I respect you for that. Most boys your age just make fun of girls when the like them. But unfortunately Mike, I'm just a little out of your league. Don't worry, keep at it. I bet in 10 years you will be awesome, I'll marry Johnny Football. He will have a drinking problem and I will have trucker hips."
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